


Tired Of All This Fear

by misaffection



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: F/M, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-28
Updated: 2013-07-28
Packaged: 2017-12-21 15:59:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/902152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misaffection/pseuds/misaffection
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was tired; tired of running, tired of being shit scared.</p><p>Originally posted Apr 14th 2007.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tired Of All This Fear

It had been another day, with another mission to another world. It had ended in yet another run in with the Wraith.

Rodney sat in the darkness of his lab, recalling the desperate flight. The low cloudbank had been effective cover for the Hive ship – the dozen or so Darts had emerged without warning – the team missing Teyla, who’d been back on the mainland.

He was tired; tired of running, tired of being shit scared. There was no rest and he was worn out from it. All he wanted was a break, to breathe and suddenly he needed to get outside, the walls seemed to close in on him.

Fleeing the confines of the lab, Rodney cannoned into a startled Laura. She stared up at him, her expression going from surprise to one of concern.

“Rodney?” she asked. He backed up a step and shook his head. He took off again, bumping her as he sought fresh air.

It was cold out on the pier but Rodney welcomed the brisk breeze. He threw his head back, staring up at the stars and breathing. In and out, the suffocating pressure easing from his chest.

He walked slowly down the length of the pier, taking his time to feel. The sound of the water against the structure was a balm to his frazzled nerves. The breeze ruffled his hair, soothing his mind and his soul.

“Rodney?” Laura had followed him outside. He turned and looked at her. She was watching him warily, her face still worried. “Are you okay?”

He shook his head, unable to find the words to communicate what was going on in his head. He turned away again, his eyes going back to the distant stars, desperately seeking an answer but not knowing the question.

“Come away from the edge,” Laura requested softly.

Rodney looked down. The ocean washed against the pier below him. He watched the waves numbly, unaware of when he’d gotten so close to the edge. He could feel the drop pulling at him.

“I want it to stop,” he said.

“What? What do you want to stop?”

“Everything. Just… everything. I just want to sleep and not wake up feeling afraid.”

“Rodney,” she said. “Come away from the edge. Please.”

The fear in her voice brought him round. He blinked and stepped back. He heard her breath out a sigh of relief. He turned to her.

“I wasn’t…” he said. “I wouldn’t do that.”

Laura looked relieved. “Good,” she said firmly. She cocked her head. “Now are you going to tell me what all this was about?”

“Dunno,” he said with a shrug. “I just felt… weird. Trapped. I don’t know.”

“It’s understandable. I mean, I heard about what happened. The Wraith… well the Wraith are frightening. I don’t know anyone on Atlantis who’s not bothered by them, Rodney. I certainly am.”

“That…” He paused, mulling over her words a little more. “Actually, that makes me feel better.”

“You don’t need to sound so shocked,” she said with a laugh.

“Sorry. It’s just…I’m so tired of all the fear,” he said. The admission didn’t come easily, but he felt a lifting from his mind once it was out. He wasn’t sure what reaction he expected from Laura, but she gave him an understanding smile.

“Aren’t we all?” she replied.

That made him look at her again and he saw his own weariness reflected in her eyes.

“How do you handle it?” he asked her in a slightly desperate tone.

She smiled wanly and shrugged. “Why do you think I run to unwind, Rodney?”

He finally understood. “Oh.” He had out a hand. “I guess… I guess it’s easier to cope with if you’re not alone.”

“Usually,” she agreed, taking his hand.

Rodney turned back to look at the stars reflecting in the dark sea. 

It had been another day, with another mission to another world. It had ended on a pier on Atlantis where a small warm hand in his anchored him against the wash of fear. His fingers intertwined with Laura’s and she leaned against his arm bringing a sense of comfort that eased the tiredness and allowed him to breathe again.


End file.
